Love, Romance, and Relationship Advice from John Gray

Tired of arguing with your mate? Read this article!

Love, Romance, and Relationship Advice from John Gray

So Much For Fetishes!

My friend Natasha is on a mission this week.

A cleaning mission that is! This goes to show you that when you're dating you should always keep a clean house-for those unexpected visits! My friend Natasha has been dating Derek for about 5 months now. She's just recently allowed him to come over to her home because she has a child and wasn't ready to take it to that "level" yet.

Derek seems to be a "good" man, thus far. He cooks, he cleans, has a good job, a freak in bed-AND he sucks toes!

Derek surprised her on his lunch break and came over unannounced. When she opened the door, shocked of course, he stepped into the "house of horrors". Let her tell it, she was in the "process of cleaning". It was messy and she knew it.

He had just gotten his hair cut prior to coming over and wanted to know if he could jump in the shower before heading back to work. Not thinking that the tub had a black ring around it, she said "sure".

When Derek came out of the shower, she said he had this look of disqust on his face. He just kept looking at her. Finally, after an uncomfortable amount of silence he said, "The foot fetish I have, I will no longer. I have NEVER seen such a filthy tub in a woman's house in my life". She almost died of embarrassment.

As he was leaving to return to work he told her, "By the way, clean those cob webs out of the corners of your shower. That poor fly looks about a 100 years old". I was laughing so hard when she told me this story! For the sake of her relationship she will bite the bullet and clean on a more regular basis.

She's not fooling anyone, we all know she likes her toes sucked! LOL!!!


Luv

I'm Unavailable!

I'm starting to see progress.

I had my work cut out for me this past week trying to get my b/friend to see the signs of trouble in her relationship. We've been spending an incredible amount of time talking about having self respect, self esteem, and not letting men treat her as a doormat. That seems to be the case quite often. It doesn't matter what relationship she gets into, she's always the one doing all the work by trying so hard to please. I think we are all guilty of that at times, always trying to go that extra mile for our "man".

I read a really great book this past summer called Why Men Love Bitches. I think every woman should read this book. Not the "bitch" in the traditional sense, but more in a sense like, "Hey I respect myself...my time...and us".

I had to relate back to the "book" after my b/friend was telling me about a conversation she had with her boyfriend the other night. The issue was she wanted to see him on Saturday night, but he had already made plans. She had plans as well, but was willing to break them so that she could be with him instead. He told her TWICE in the same conversation that he wanted her to go and see her friends. She hasn't been out in Godknows how long. She gets upset when he doesn't initiate plans and is ALWAYS telling him she wants to see him.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH ALREADY.

I had to "keep it real" with her and let her know that she is definitely wearing the Adidas "sweat suit". She is sporting the headband AND the wristband! Whew!

The most exciting part of a relationship is always the "chase". I told her to experiment a little. Don't answer his calls and let him go to voice mail. When you finally do talk, tell him you're busy-you'll call HIM back. If he wants to see you, tell him YOU have plans and offer a different time to hook up.

I'll be damned. She followed what I said and it worked! He ended up changing his plans Saturday night to be with her instead. She's happy and I'm happy for her. Finally, they are at peace-for now.

Relationships are nothing but mind games. The goal is to win....

Luv

Halle Berry Hype

I'm convinced.

If Halle Berry can't keep a man, there is really something wrong with the male species! I watch how men drool all over her when she comes on tv or she's in a magazine. I listen to women "hate" on her because she's beautiful, but I still don't know what all the hype is about.

Is she gorgeous? Absolutely! What about J-Lo? Of course....So don't YOU find yourself often wondering what it is that a man wants? One thing is for sure, both Halle and "Jenny from the block" go through the same issues "us" regular women do everyday. Just because they are beautiful and famous definitely does not exclude them from the normal relationship woes everyone else goes through. They have problems like we have problems.

And what do men really want? A beautiful woman? Great sex? Companionship? Wealth?...... WHAT???

I listen to my best friend's complaints about her relationship with on and off again boyfriend. I find it extremely frustrating AND exhausting, not just for me-but for her too! One day he wants to be with her, the next day she's smothering him! Go figure!

I think the reason why I get so frustrated with her relationship is because I can't fix it. It's so hard to see someone close to you deal with the stresses of their relationship and all you can do is listen. Believe me, I 've contemplated picking up the phone and having a nice little discussion with him, but that's not the answer. Only she can change how he treats her. Or better yet, only she can change how she responds to him. But first, she has to get over her fear of being alone.

I wonder if J-Lo has that fear of being alone? We watch her jump from relationship to relationship with no time to heal from her hurt. So you see, these superstars are no different from us plain old girls with normal lives.

WE are all just looking for a good man. Now we have to figure out what it is they want (wink!)


Luv

Open Up My Eyes to See!

I think I'm calling "Cheaters"....

Not on my man of course, but on my friend's man. See, if this were my man there would be no need for "Cheaters". Call me the investigator guru when it comes to my own. When we separated I knew he was out there fooling around. I knew what he was doing while he was doing it. I had cell phone records, bank statements, but most important, the sixth sense that us women have. Baby, I could smell the hoes....

A lot of times we are in denial. We think that our man would never cheat on us. But, the reality of it is-a lot of men DO cheat for whatever reason. And there is always, I repeat, always- someone trying to get ahold of your goods. Our job is to be able to see the signs. Let me give you some examples....

1. If your man calls you and tells you he has to work late and you KNOW he didn't have to work that day-Houston we have a problem.

2. If he calls you up and tells you that he's not going to be able to talk to you the rest of the night because he's charging his cell phone-and you get slick and block your number and call him back 15 minutes later and he answers the phone "yeah, what's up?"-Houston we have a problem.

3. If you get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and come back to bed to find your man texting someone, most likely it's not a dude, and I hate to say it again, but-Houston we have a problem.

You may be laughing right now. You're probably thinking God, is she that blind that she doesn't see the writing on the wall? You see it, I see it. Now, I just have to get her to see it. That's the hard part. When you're in love, these signs can be masked by feelings, emotions, etc. Sometimes I wonder if she does see the signs, but doesn't want to accept them.

I have my work cut out for me this week. I think we'll put "Cheaters" on hold for now and work on fine tuning her sixth sense.

Luv